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Parry and Carney » Archive » New Year’s Resolution
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7 Responses to “New Year’s Resolution”
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Shellanie wrote:

My boyfriend of 8.5 monhts has been verbally abusive for many monhts now. He has moments where he bursts into an angry fit, like a temper tantrum, and starts yelling at me, cussing and accusing me of things that only happen in his mind. During these fits, he usually call me names and among many other things, treat me like I am an idiot. It got to the point that he won’t even let me say a word in my defense, yelling at me to shut up. I know he’s been under a lot of stress, including financially, but he is the type of person that believes he’s always right and tries to be the owner of the truth. Most of my friends don’t like him or are partial to him Anyway, I’ve been subjected to this behavior for monhts, always telling him how hurtful he can be and that I would eventually get to the point of not putting up with that anymore. He also uses text messages as a vehicle to focus his anger towards me. He has called me, among many other things: c#nt, b*tch, full retard, airhead, idiot, stupid, self-righteous b*tch, prying b*tch and the list goes on. He won’t let me speak and whenever I try to defend myself, he gets louder and angrier and won’t stop repeating over and over what he believes is wrong with me. He also manipulates situations and the truth in his favor.I’ve always been supportive of him, even assisting with his work. It got to the point where he expects me to work for him and treats me like an assistant, criticizing and acting like I’m a paid employee. I tried reasoning and forgiving him when he blows up like that, telling myself that he’s not a bad person and it’s all because of the stress. But last week, I finally had it after trying to help him with his work and being blamed for some stupid printing mistake that he did. He then accused me of trying to sabotage him and his career. This is a very common accusation. You see, I lost my job and it’s been 6 monhts now trying to get a new one. During this time, when I should have been dedicating all my time to looking for work, I was also helping him to get a new job. He hadn’t changed jobs for 10 years and suddenly he needed one and didn’t know how or where to search. I created accounts in many job boards, updated his LinkedIn profile, prepared cover letters and submitted his resume to positions. All that while trying to help myself, too. Now, all of a sudden, I am this horrible black hole’ in his life He was so mad at me, even though it was his own mistake, that he started yelling at me and whenever I tried to open my mouth to defend myself, he would say something hurtful and even mentioned that he would call security to drag me out of his office I told him that I was done, that I wanted to go to his place, pack the things I had there and leave him for good. As soon as we stepped out of the building, he started yelling at me, saying things like you can’t get a job’, you can’t be trusted’, you’re a loose cannon’, you are trying to make me lose my job’. That was Thursday before Xmas in Downtown, on a very busy street, full of last minute shoppers and people leaving their offices. When we got to his condo, I immediately started packing my things and he was all arrogant, asking if I was happy with the way things turned out. As soon as I left the building, he sent messages about how sorry he was that things didn’t work out between us, like he was the one who broke up the relationship! Since then, he has sent me msgs and called me non stop, crying and begging for forgiveness. On top of all that, I found out that he had been sending text msgs to 2 ex girlfriends, asking them to stop by for booty call, and while one of them dissed him, the other one actually instigated that by sending porn pictures to him And he also sent her naked pictures but now he adamantly denies to ever sending pictures to her But I did find those pictures in his iPhone! He keeps calling and texting, crying and telling me how much he loves me and he is sorry, and how he was stupid for doing that, that they never went to his place and he didn’t have sex with any of them. This is a man who swept me off my feet, initially treating me like a queen, then little by little he became this horrible person that I don’t recognize anymore. We were planning on moving together, and initially he was receptive to the idea of moving to my place. Then he suddenly started demanding that we stayed in his condo, because my place was old, sh*tty, outdated’, and just not good enough for his very expensive taste. I still love him but I’m deeply, deeply hurt. I really don’t know if I should give him a SECOND chance because I don’t feel like I can trust him anymore. I gave him a chance once, after he told me he didn’t love me nor was attracted to me anymore, during a vacation trip to Vegas. What should I do? Please, help me.


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